cause i can’t make you love me..if you don’t”

So i’ve always loved the original version of this song ‘I Can’t Make You love Me’ by Bonnie Raitt… it is such a timeless song. I have now refallen for this song with Tank’s recent remake of it.

It’s simply about the power that “love” has over someone… how enamored one can become with someone else.  I hear true passion between every line of this song.

But it has got me to thinking about what exactly is this that Bonnie Raitt was singing about?

Love

THE NOUN:

A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another. (Courtesy of Dictionary.com)

When I listen to this song  it suggests that Love the noun is the unexplained relentless tugging on your heart. When you have no idea why you can’t just walk away from a situation. That is Love ‘the noun’… it just is. It is simple,yet profound.

Love

THE VERB:

TO HAVE profoundly tender, passionate affection for another; TO NEED.

I hear the remnants of love ‘the verb’ throughout this song. It is every little action you do to prove your affection for someone.

The beautiful thing that i’ve taken from this song is in the chorus ” I can’t make you love me… if you don’t”

in that very line it shows  that love coexists as a noun and verb. In order to actively love someone…TO HAVE that feeling of needing someone.. or to have that profound passion, to be able to want to act on that profound passion..to be willing to fight for that passion, Love has to also just be.  Without doing anything at all… without crying out, without showering with gifts, without intimate acts love has to just be there already. Otherwise no matter how much I do or say.. I wont be able to MAKE YOU love if  it isn’t there already.

I really enjoy the perspective that this song offers. It offers the idea that eventually you recognize when you have to get over something. Cause love can only last one sided for so long. And no matter how real and passionate it was from one side… at some point if it is not a shared affection it will not work. It is such a vulnerable song… it’s basically proclaiming love…and also acknowledging  the fact that the passion is not returned. It acknowledges the fact that a lot of times even when we know it is not a shared affection, we’ll close our eyes so we don’t have to see it.

In the dark you can pretend, but “morning will come and I’ll do what’s right, just give me til then to give up this fight”

I think that is so real…so honest, it is so true. At some point you reach your “morning” when you’ve put it all out there every piece of your heart that you had to offer and after you’ve done that you are ready to give up that fight. Don’t have to walk any further for that race.  And ahhhh breathe… cause guess what you’re okay after that.

Timeless music… that allows me to really think, feel, and apply to myself.

 I hope that i can make the music that the world will sing. and it will be made and remade and heard and listened to.

Thanks to the beautiful hearts that wrote this song ;shared a piece of their heartbreak for some other hearts to hear.

You should definitely give Ms. Bonny Raitt’s song a listen it is absolutely a beautiful timeless song.

I’ve put a link to Tank’s version…that is what i’m listening to currently.

LOVE LOVE love

Ashaya

I lost track of where I was going.

And honestly I havent quite found the paved roads yet… but i’m beating through the brush now…creating my own path.

So i’ve been reading other people’s blogs trying to figure out what the theme of my blog should be. Get a feel for what a good blog really has to offer. And truth be told…I think the best blogs that i’ve read simply offer a point of view that is unique to anything i’ve ever heard. And the reason for that is the best blogs are people just genuinely being themselves.

So that is what I am attempting to do here with this blog. I want to present whatever random thoughts I have to you (the reader) as genuinely as possible.

As of late I have redevoted myself to writing.

Yes it is something I have always loved to do… however somewhere along the way I lost some of my passion for it. I think it’s because it started feeling like a chore.

So in order to reignite that passion I decided to update my journal.

Recent Entry:

Being 20 something is a trip..in every sense literally and figuratively. I’m young…but i’m old enough now to have real life knocking at my door every day in the form of Student Loans (Sallie Mae…. we ARE NOT FRIENDS) Sallie likes to remind me constantly when i go out with my friends i’m on a beer budget…but uggh I have champagne taste). Being 20 something is mysterious in the sense of, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what tomorrow holds. There really is no stability…if someone offered me a great job tomorrow I could up and leave where i’m at with little to no care…because of a certain beauty about your 20′s which is i can worry exclusively, Me Myself and I!!!

23 makes me feel ambiguos. Like I have the world ahead of me… but at the same time I’ve really begun to see just how quickly time can fly. I’m thinking about love, relationships, career, friends, family, dreams vs. reality. It’s so much to take in.

ahhh the sweet life of being 20 something.

:END OF ENTRY:

So there it is right there in that journal entry. I want to talk about 20 somethings… what it is to be me at 23. And I’d love to hear from other people about their experiences.

Ofcourse I will keep you all updated on my road to this musical land…where everyone knows my songs

LOVE LOVE LOVE

ashaya

(Thump Thump)

And then it skips a couple beats. My mind races forward..hoping that they will chase after me.

I love it here when each turn is something new.

Wildern expectations

Open spaces, vast rooms of secretive strangers with hearts that own keys

Opportunities parade that beat out new paths in our city of lovers, friends, foes, and strangers

with a succumbing hint of just enough danger to inspire and ease a throbbing vein of adrenaline.

Here I can meet and become the wildest part of my imagination,

or tame myself amongst the freeist flying of spirits

and the wildest wandering of minds

It’s in this place of unfamiliarity that I am most eager…

because it is here that the wildest parts of my dreams just might be what’s up next

I love that here…where the wild things live and breathe..my dreams can run free to grow and mature

into something i never even would’ve foreseen

(written…one day at work..while my mind was wandering)

There is something beautifully exciting about not really knowing what’s next…but trusting in God that there is a road specifically and perfectly mapped out for you. I am finding lately that I am leaning more and more on my trust that God would not give me the dreams that I dream so vividly if it were not possible.

In a recent conversation with my mother (whom has the best ear that has ever been lent to me), I stumbled upon the idea that my talent and love for music, is merely a medium for me to paint a greater picture. I challenge you to look at whatever it is that you are good at… your gift. And realize what it was REALLY meant for you to do with that.

I think far to often we stop short of our calling because we never fully understand and/or utilize our talents… I believe you can know that you’ve reached your calling when what you’re doing is no longer merely self rewarding but far more rewarding for someone else…

In the piece that I wrote while i was at work… there was a part that I mentioned “strangers with hearts that own keys” … and “wildern expectations” I am truly finding that everyday is so exciting because you generally run into way more strangers throughout your day than people you actually know… in your travels to work, school, grocery store, random trips etc. Something intriguing about the idea that it’s really up to you each day on how you approach each interaction of what you  take from each person you pass.

I’m really trying to bring forth my gifts..my talents… “where the wild things are”… and create new opportunities with these “strangers”.. and ultimately inspire someone else to just live in their wildest part of their imagination. Because it is there, Where the Wild Things Are..that all we are meant to be lives.

LOVEloveLOve

~Ashaya~

My mind started drifting over random thoughts and I was thinking about some of the issues that have been taking up most of my thoughts lately.

Some of which are dealing with interpersonal relationships…. there are all sorts of relationships that we build as human beings. Naturally, we are closer to some people more than others… all of this deals with the environment and situations in which you get to know someone in.

I felt myself falling into an angry state…because a distaste for a certain situation I felt I had wrongly been subjected to.

Then I thought to myself… conflict can’t be avoided…

One day no matter how conscious you are of the world you are in… if you are real and true with yourself and others all the time… you will run into some sort of conflict… the question then becomes how do you deal with it. Do you stay true to what you believe.. or do you sway?

Coercion- the act of using force or intimidation to obtain compliance.

I feel like the weight of the world sometimes is on my shoulders… society’s pressures try to coerce you into doing things that at your core you know aren’t right.

You fight with your thoughts to be the best person you can be…yet not get run over by the fast pace of the rest of the world.  A State of “Confusion” what to do…??

As I thought more about the important relationships in my life I realized we weave our own webs…and we tangle ourselves in those webs. No one can just throw you into the web…you put yourself there. Sometimes by ignorance…sometimes by naivety.. sometimes by a well informed decision… However we end up in these webs..it is our own doing.

So… Closer by Corrine Bailey Rae… she says “I don’t want to give you up…I don’t want to hold you up… I don’t want ambiguous.. I just know that I’ve had enough” … that is exactly how i’m feeling right now. I think sometimes you get to the point that you’ve stayed stuck on something…holding on…relentless until you just get tired from all of the conflict it has brought…or even the foreseeable conflict in the future.

Like I said… you weave and tangle yourself in your own webs… I chose to stay stuck here in this place for a while… but now I’m deciding it’s time to move past…

The same way that we weave our webs…and tangle ourselves in our webs…we can get ourselves out. Every experience every destination in life is for a specific reason…to prepare you for something to come later.

I am learning that now…

As I laid still there in my bed eyes closed…mind sifting over my choices lately I thought to myself… am I

LOve LOVE LoVE

Ashaya

Something in his tone seems to be resinating with me… because rather than listen to the next song up on pandora’s playlist… I find myself deciding to tap into itunes and replay Point of It All…

Have you ever stopped to really think about that day when you realize the point of it all… is to find that love that is unconditional, that love that makes you so selfless that you’re the best you ,you could ever be because you want to be better for someone else.

While I have yet to experience anything of this sort…

There is something in Mr. Hamilton’s voice that assures me that, that feeling is real.

I love the way a songwriter can be so eloquent as to write such poignant stanzas, words so powerful that they almost hit you with an incredible force. Yet they can be arranged in such a way that it is the sweetest thing, most soothing and melodic thing you’ve ever heard.

Somebody asked me the other day what it is I really wanna be…

when it’s all said and done.. what would i like to accomplish… what is my point of it all…

I said if i could just experience a love that would allow me to write songs that could really effect someone.. (even if it’s just one someone)

They say God’s penmanship is signed in a language called love…

I want to write songs in that same vain..

A couple years ago I went to West Africa…and I noticed how music crosses language barriers…and it took me until this very moment to really understand why that is true…

but it’s because good music… real artistry stems from real emotions… emotions are universal…

I think it’d be so satisfying just to be able to speak universally…

The only way I know I can do that is thru this artform..

So here i am ….

ready to write in a language called love…

and that is my point of it all…

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Ashaya

I’ve been working sooo hard…

Countless hours have been put into the project “Jukebox Remedy” and the song XOXO is just the beginning of what will be a timeless album… that is what I set out to record.

I wanted to make music that really said something…that had real feelings. Each and every song came from a real place… and I hope that you all can love and appreciate that.

Sooooo

Here goes the link:

http://bit.ly/bU1sDt

Enjoy!!

Tell your friends…family…classmates…coworkers EVERYBODY!!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Ashaya

For the past week we have been counting down to the release of my single…XOXO.

Each day I’ve given you a new reason to say XOXO goodbye…

and now that we are one day away we have arrived at the #1 reason…

#1….

If you ever find yourself catching feelings for someone else…that cannot be set aside, or let go of…there comes a point when you have to take a look at your current relationship and decide what is best. It is NEVER okay to string somebody along… letting them believe they are in something that they aren’t…. a committed relationship …if you aren’t in it…isn’t committed. And the line for commitment can get fuzzy as soon as some emotional attachment is made to another person.

I think the main thing to remember as it relates to the song… is that it says XOXO…goodbye.. not just goodbye.

XOXO meaning hugs and kisses…. some bit of affection.

So no matter what the reason was that the split or the goodbye from the relationship has to happen… there is still this acknowledgement that at some point you did love them…and you may still love them but in a different way.

When I listen to the song I hear a girl getting out of a volatile relationship… it just in some way.. maybe one of the ways described throughout this countdown she was being mistreated, or things were going sour in the relationship. Rather than continue to harp on the negative she stood up on her own two feet and walked away from the situation. Not to say that it was something easy to do… I think people have to go through an array of emotions to reach that point…surprise, sadness, anger before you can reach a point that you’re ready to move on.

I really love what XO is saying…I hope that it speaks to someone else the way that i hear it.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Ashaya

#2….

The spark just isn’t there anymore…

sometimes what is so exciting in the beginning can often times be confused with something that’s meant to last forever. It’s important to recognize the difference…and as stated in earlier posts… sometimes you gotta know when to walk away from the situation.

So ladies and gents…if that spark that once was is no longer… it’s okay to have that memory… but to move on.

No need to hold onto “expired love”… as the song says.

However…i think this one is harder than the other reasons that i’ve posted…cause it’s harder to recognize… it can often times be a combination of many things… it can be a slow shift in feelings…that is not so evident at first…but after awhile you look around a realize you haven’t been happy in the relationship for a while.

It takes strength and maturity to walk away and say goodbye…

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Ashaya

Well I’d like to think strikes apply in a relationship as well.

So now that we are 3 days away from the July 5th release of MYYY Single XOXO!!!

I wanna share my 3rd reason to say XOXO goodbye to the relationship…

#3…..

keeps doing the SAME things that you’ve clearly expressed you take issue with. Whatever that might be. Not to say that you are there to stop him from being himself or live his life…but relationships are give and take. And there are going to be some things that will bother you…and if you are able to clearly express to him what that is (i.e… one of the earlier examples of having or not having good communication in the relationship) and make real reasons why this is a change that needs to be made by him, he agrees…yet is still doing or acting in the same ways… sometimes you gotta employ that 3 strikes you’re out mentality. If it’s something that you absolutely can’t deal with…but it’s something he’s obviously not going to change… no need to hold on… because no one is happy there.

3 strikes!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Ashaya

sooo that is one of the lines from the chorus of XO, and i think it’s very true for most relationships in fact. Everything isn’t meant to last forever. Some people come into your lives for seasons…and you have to recognize and respect that role that they had in your life for that time period…which brings me to my fourth reason to say XOXO Good bye..

#4….

When you’re finding it hard to see what you even have in common anymore… sometimes it’s better just to move on.

It doesn’t mean that you are a bad person, or he’s a bad person..just means you’ve grown. And to him you can even be thankful for that…he may have had a significant role in your growth…and while it may have ultimately distanced the two of you in your relationship… you are in turn becoming a better person.

It’s better to let go of something before it becomes a negative situation.

While the song XO does sound like it’s coming from a hurt place… it’s okay cause we’ve all been there. or will experience that at some point in our lives…

but the best part of the song is the fact that the person is freeing themselves of a bad situation.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Ashaya